About Vignettes Learning
   
Learners' Edge
StoryImpacts
Scenario & Story-Based Content Development
Contact & Support

 
 
 Login
  Username
 
  Password
 
 
  Forgot Password
 Join Now
Discussion, get free link & iFrame
 
Compliment   Join us  
How to Use the Vignette

The v
ignette  - Compliment -  Can't  a person even compliment a woman anymore?! , will revolve around  two office mates:  Roxanne and Tim. Roxanne feels violated whenever Tim compliments  her.  Tim thinks there is nothing wrong with his gestures. When is...
Free link & iFrame
Discussion:
1. When can someone say that a compliment has sexual 
    undertones?
2. If you were Roxanne, how would you handle the situation?
3. Please post your comments and share your experiences.


 
Post   

Mary Grace
November 19, 2013
I will probably do the same thing that Roxanne did. I cannot go on feeling uncomfortable about how another person relates to me.


Reply  


Kathleen
March 07, 2012
I liked that she addressed the issue head-on. However, her tone was a bit aggressive if she wants to have a relaxed, mutually supportive working relationship with him. Men do this a lot - stare at a woman's breast when talking with her - and probably do not even realize it or at least do not realize how obvious it is. Sometimes simply catching him in the act by working to catch his eyes and say "Hello, up here" or "is there something spilled on my blouse" or "Tim, you're starring", sends the message that you have caught him in the act.


Reply  


Colin
December 06, 2011
groovy


Reply  


Rhonda
November 08, 2011
Roxanne was right not to ignore Tim's comments since if impacted regardless of his intent. She could have stated to Tim that when he compliments her she feels uncomfortable and that it moves away from a professional relationship. She then could have stated that would expect no further compliments and stay on target with the business issues. Her tone could have been seen as more than assertive so she should take care with her tone when she expresses displeasure.


Reply  


Jenni
September 12, 2011
Roxanne was harsh in her tone and didn't really explain how she felt about the situation, it was more blaming than explaining. There is a better way to handle this, starting with a statement that begins with how Roxanne feels. For example... Tim, I have something I'd like to talk over with you. I'm feeling a little uncomfortable about your comments each time we meet. Tim asks what comments. Then Roxanne goes on to explain that she feels that his compliments are directed at her looks and that she feels uncomfortable at that. Roxanne could then request that he refrain from making those comments please. She could record the interaction in her diary, just in case, but usually it will solve the problem.


Reply  


Chris
August 24, 2011
I do agree with most of what everyone is saying but I am going to simply play "Devil's Advocate" for the sake of argument as well as offering a different point of view.
Is is possible that given the tone in Tim's voice, the images chosen for him as well as the "sharp feedback" he received that Tim was simply embarrassed and or humiliated so he was looking down, instead of at Roxanne, and it was perceived that he was looking at her chest?

To turn things around: how many times do women compliment how a man is dressed and "no one" bats and eye?


Reply  


ana
August 22, 2011
she was sharp giving feedback but we have to be persuasive too. it's not enough to say what wht we donīt want. it's important to explain why and share our values.

posted by: cel2 cel2
September 15, 2011
Nice comment Ana. The tone of voice can sometimes make all the difference.

Reply  


SHARI
August 18, 2011
Her jacket is conservative. It is the part you can see because they are seated. Would she have felt uncomfortable if she was standing and he complimented her pants or skirt? Since she shared her perspective on the compliment he should refrain so that she is not uncomfortable in the workplace.


Reply  


Nancy
August 17, 2011
Roxanne was very direct and specific about Tim's behavior, that she did not like it, why she didn't like it (he was looking at her chest) and her request for Tim to stop. However, it's clear from the vignette that Tim doesn't "get it." There is no reason to think that Tim will stop what he's doing based on Roxanne's conversation with him. I think a follow-up conversation with Tim would be a good idea. Because it's possible that Tim may have made similar comments to other employees, and because his behavior with Roxanne has been going on for some time, a consultation with HR may be in order.


Reply  


Elise
August 17, 2011
I think Roxanne handled it well. If, after telling Tim she doesn't like his comments or the way he looks at her, and he doesn't stop, then she should bring it to the attention of the HR department. Tim may not be aware that this could border on harassment, so having HR talk with him and make him more aware of this would be helpful. Everyone looks at harassment differently. What is harassing to one person is not to another. But employees to be sensitive to how someone is receiving a compliment, or comment.


Reply  


Mary
August 17, 2011
In general, I think she handled it pretty well. I'm not sure I would have done as well. I probably would have shrugged it off and just dealt with him as little as possible if it really bothered me.

Until I heard her point out that he was looking at her chest instead of her face/eyes, I was inclined to think she was overreacting. But, that comment made me wonder about his motives. To give him the benefit of a doubt, he may not have been aware of how he was coming across, so it was good that she pointed it out.

I don't have a problem with someone complimenting me on my clothes as long as it's done respectfully and sincerely. Women compliment each other, so why should it bother them if a man compliments them? However, regardless of whether the complimenter is male/female, looking at any body part besides the face/eyes, invites the question of sexual harassment.

I recognize that this can be a tricky situation though. Politely saying, "You're looking especially nice/sharp today," while looking the other person in the face/eyes, might be a better approach than focusing in on something specific. Done the right way, it might even brighten their day.


Reply  


Tina
August 17, 2011
I think she should document her convesation with Tim and observe him going forward to see if he has changed his interaction with her. Sometimes as women we jump the gun by solutioning before we realize if there is a problem


Reply  


Linda
August 16, 2011
2) I think she handled it well; provided past examples; said she didn't like it and asked him to quit.

A third party comment would be interesting to explore - maybe have several people around the water cooler or coffee pot making comments after someone leaves, but the comments are overheard by a another person.

About the vignette itself -- the screen seemed to go very fast; maybe more content should be added; it seemed I was clicking "next" very quickly. I liked the additional feedback provided with the options.


Reply  


karen
August 10, 2011
I have to wonder what the tone of the compliment was, rather than the content.


Reply  


page 1 of 1

 

Back to top

 
 
 
 
About Vignettes Learning | Scenarios & Stories | Systems | Innovations | Contact Support
Vignettes Learning 2017